Breathe in and exhale.
It’s been awhile. I know.
I find that my mind does a strange thing when it’s reconceptualizing the world around me. It pauses. Almost as though running on autopilot, it goes a bit dim and silently runs in the background. I go around doing my normal everyday business of fussing over and tending to daily life things all while my mind is quietly yet diligently sorting through data and processing information. I don’t always know or understand what it’s doing back there in the dark but I wait knowing that whatever it produces and sorts out will find its way out with time. It’s a slow process and can often be frustrating. I get glimpses of its work every now and then when I read a book or listen to the news. All of a sudden I’ll find it surprising that I don’t entirely agree with a position that I once did. Strange. Though, once my mind is ready to start unraveling what it’s been working on I can be quite caught off guard. One day I’ll wake up and not know why I don’t quite believe the same things that I did yesterday. Or, maybe it’s not that that I don’t believe the same things, but rather it’s that they look different. My mind will have twisted my understanding of a particular idea another way and all of a sudden it’s different. Changed. And everything that I believed to be true about that idea changed with it.
So, I stopped writing to let my mind do this important work out of my sight. Out of your sight. And things have changed for me. My mind has reoriented the world in ways that have confused and delighted me but have also caused me to rethink a lot of my personal and world views. And what’s important for you to understand about me is that I have a natural inclination to go against the grain. Something that can be gratingly annoying and inconsistent.
I’m not going to divulge what my mind has been up to. Not yet. I think it’s worth leaving you in a bit of suspense. If you actually care that much. Which, you probably don’t. I don’t blame you. Though, I do have a number of poems and creative pieces that I’ve been untangling from my mind’s edge to put together here. I do, after all, need to begin deciphering and exploring what all I’ve come up with over the last 5 months while not writing. And, I love writing. When I’m not writing, a part of me is lost.
Exhale and breathe in.